Cole’S Law Blog

As the Jewish New Year approaches, the Semitic demographic[1] is asked to analyze our decisions of the past year and atone for our yearly misgivings. One thing that I have learned from all of this is that we have to hold ourselves personally liable for our own decisions as the practice of scapegoating has gone out of fashion. Thanks Hitler.

After reflecting upon our sins, we are usually compelled by some sort of moral compass to change our approach to living; to behave in a more fulfilling and noble manner. Normally, I am not a proponent of change as the only people who seem to be clamoring for it are either homeless people or Democrats. That’s bad no matter which way you slice its head off. If you want change, wish for a penny fountain you damn hobo! And even if the fountain has been mined, look on the bright side, at least you can take a bath you dirty bastard.

There is one change that I am looking forward to and that is fall. By fall I am referring to the falling of trees and the foliage that presently foils my view of the city. Why can’t these trees just die without getting all yellow about it? I am fonder of perpetually warm locales that carry a small chance of natural disaster. Nonetheless, I suppose that a change of demeanor is necessary as I look into the fun house mirror and reflect upon my own mundane trespasses.

I guess my one regret is that I wasn’t honest enough this year and by and large failed to call people out on their bullshit. Also, that Israeli soldier I couldn’t close in June. Okay, two regrets.

Therefore, it is my resolve to change for the worse; to call people on their bullshit, even if it means being hated. Currently, I am hated by perhaps only one person in the world. But this is only passive hate and in all likelihood, was probably forgotten the following morning. In my defense, gas is expensive and the bus stop is right outside my house.

Anybody who really knows me will tell you that I’m a pretty nice guy. In the past, I have always prided myself on the ability to bend over, not necessarily backwards, for others who don’t seem to notice. In contracts class we have learned in the majority of cases that internal intent is largely immaterial in a contractual dispute (Lucy v. Zehmer). In this case, the court held that a contract is established by the external intent of the parties that a reasonable person would infer from the actions of the other party. It is time to present the world with the truth. For what good is being an asshole if you don’t objectively manifest it?

To actively and purposely go about being hated is a daunting enterprise. So far as I know, I have not given anybody a legitimate reason to actively plot my demise. Everyone has the natural instinct to be well-liked, socially accepted, and part of a group (high school/fraternity/country club/Heaven). But sometimes, our need to be well-liked can lead to personal detriment.

Issue: Whether it is better to be liked by everyone that I meet and not achieve my goals or whether it is better to achieve my goals knowing that I will be resoundingly hated by at least some people.

Holding: Being hated by some people is a sacrifice we must make to get what we want without making our moral compass point south. If you can’t remember the last time you told someone to go fuck themselves then you are doing yourself a major disservice.

To go against this cultural norm will take finesse and tact, two things that I lack. I am not a planner, a schemer, or a plotter. I’ll have to wing this whole inciting hatred business by being deliberately negligent and remaining absolutely ambivalent to the plight of others. Besides, given my chosen career path, I’ll have to get used to it. I just hope that when the slip and the fall do arrive, as they most inevitably will, I’ll have a medical malpractice attorney who owes me a favor.