Cole’S Law Blog

Things are beginning to escalate as I begin recognize that my ability to procrastinate indefinitely has begun to turn into a sneaking inclination to make a concerted effort. I’m sure I’ll start to make one sometime in the near future.

One thing that I had purposely availed myself of was neglecting to disclose my penchant for silence throughout the first few weeks of class. I neglected to mention this for fear of jinxing such an admirable streak. Eventually though, my name was uttered and I was able to blurt out an answer with the coherent fluency of a Lil Wayne guitar solo. Since then, I have been called on about as many times as I have seen a bald eagle, or a law student without an Obama sticker affixed to his thermos.

In a lot of these classes, we deal with issues that have been discussed since ancient Greece. One of these key elements is causation. I think that I understand this subject quite well, although I am still somewhat perplexed at LBJ’s decision to send the homeless to fight in Vietnam. No wonder why we lost.

Speaking of Greeks, I would like to note that while Socrates may have invented a method by which great legal minds have been taught for centuries, he still didn’t have the sensibility to wipe.

In more personal matters, my apartment has flooded in pocket Biblical proportions. My charming view of the city has has been mitigated by the pervasive stench of mold and mildew. Has G-d never heard of due process? At the end of it all, when it’s time for judgment, I’m definitely going to motion for a change of venue. There’s no way I’m letting him have home court advantage. Let’s just hope I have a good lawyer.

Some readers, and by some I mean one, have inquired as pertaining to my identity. Let’s just say that you wouldn’t want to steal it, even if it did come with free parking. As for my law school itself and its overall ranking, I would say that it’s more competitive than the presidential race and less competitive than the NFC East. If you haven’t picked up on the clues as to my whereabouts, don’t worry, as it’s immaterial and falls outside the scope of our case. I live in a town where there are probably more lawyers than cockroaches. I say probably because the line between them is thin and difficult to discern; lawyers don’t scatter when you turn on the light.

It appears as if the days of slacking are numbered. There remains ample time to rinse but none to repeat. Law school is turning me into a fucking Rastafarian. As for this post, I think that I’ll finish it later. I need a shower and the exterminator’s coming later to fumigate the apartment. For some reason, I have locusts.